Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

How would you advertise if you wanted to be a "tour guide" who can take you through the dark web while warning you what not to look at and not to click on?

I can read

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Why does my ex boyfriend do this?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Bryce Huff thankful he landed with 49ers - NBC Sports

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Why am I losing interest to get a job and to all my desires because of this spiritual awakening? How do I get through life because of it?

I see through liars

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

What are some great short jokes?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I can count

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

How can one select funeral songs that truly celebrate the essence of a loved one’s life while providing comfort to attendees?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t buy bullshit

How much does a doctor earn in Sweden per month?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I broke up with my boyfriend because he wasn’t transparent about his past, it hurts me and he doesn’t care. I told him in the beginning of our relationship that it was a deal breaker for me what do I do?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

When do you feel most peaceful ever?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

What is the Replika app, and how does it work?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I actually pay taxes

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

What does it mean when we dream about demons, ghosts, monsters, etc.?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for fakery

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones